SNOW DAY!!!

"There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind." - C.S. Lewis

Today is a snow day for me.  The snow is not deep, but the roads are incredibly dangerous; therefore, my man all but ordered me to call in to work.  He truly does love and protect me.  There have been at least three car accidents within two miles of my house this morning alone.  

I am safe and warm, though.  My morning coffee sits beside me in my adorable owl mug that was given to me for my birthday by my son and his sweet wife.  Buck, our chocolate lab is curled up on the sofa near me, snoozing.  Ellie Mae, my feisty mini Schnauzer, just abandoned her perch near the front window to snuggle in beside me for her morning nap.  It is a good day!

Today is the last day of 2014.  As I sit in the silence of my home, I reflect on all that the Lord has done over the past 365 days.  This has certainly been a blessed and amazing year! 

In February, Todd underwent surgery to clean out his sinuses and correct a severely deviated septum.  The details are pretty gross, so I will just say that the surgery not only helped him to breathe better than he ever had, but it ridded him of a horrific smell he referred to as "a dead bird" in his nose.  We all took bets on what type of bird the doctor would remove.  As it turned out, there was no bird, but it was definitely full of something "fowl."  Haha! I'm so punny!

Todd built the most adorable building in the spring to house "Fox & Hound Hair Studio." Our daughter, Emily, opened the doors to the salon in the Spring and has been super busy since.  She also moved into a sweet little two bedroom house in town, and has decided to finish her prerequisites for nursing school in the spring.  

Eric and Caitlin, our son and daughter-in-law, own the fitness center in town, as well as "Pork Choppers," a helicopter hog hunting business that outfits aerial hog and varmint hunts.  Feral hogs are a real problem to farmers and ranchers in most of the U.S.  This service is helpful in keeping their population under a little better control, and gives the client an unique hunting experience.  (Maybe Eric should hire me to write some of his ads.)  Todd and I are very proud of our young entrepreneurs and their success!

Not all blessings are pleasant or easy to receive, as we all experienced in May.  Todd and his siblings had to say "Farewell for now" to their sweet Momma on Mother's Day.  Her long, heartbreaking battle with Alzheimer's finally ended, and she was made whole again.  We all marveled at how her son, Bobby, was probably the first one to greet her as she entered Heaven, swooping her into his arms and giving her the best Mother's Day gift ever.

The circle of life continued as two precious babies made their ways into our lives and our hearts this past year.  Dylan Reece Shaver made her appearance on April 22 to my nephew, Zach, and his wife, Hanna.  Then on October 25, Reese Andrew Shaver was born to my other nephew, Andy, and his wife, Jessy.  It has been 16 years since we had babies in our family, so this has been a double blessing!  My sister, Michelle, is the happiest I have ever seen her with these littles in her life!

Each of us had birthdays this year.  We are thankful for that.  Caitlin and Emily turned 25. Eric just turned 28 yesterday. I celebrated the 19th anniversary of my 29th birthday, and Todd hit the BIG 5-0!!!  Todd's birthday gift was to drive a NASCAR race car, which he did in November!  He had his very own fan club in tow, with the kids and me, along with our friends, Randy and Brandy Huckabee.  It was a wonderful day!

Of course, there were also the HUGE blessings of my fabulous new job and the surgery that has forever changed my life.  I truly feel that God has blessed me WAY beyond what I deserve!  Then again, I'm so glad He doesn't give me what I really deserve.

That is 2014 in a very small nutshell.  Now, as I sit here reminiscing on the things we are leaving behind, excitement begins to well up within my spirit as I contemplate what is in store for us in 2015! If C.S. Lewis was right, I can't even imagine what awesomeness awaits us as we step into the New Year!

Thank you for sharing this past year with me!  May God richly bless you and yours in the year to come!

200 In My Rear-View Mirror

As I look back on my last post, I find it hard to believe that over one month has passed since I posted anything.  One month, a family Thanksgiving celebration, Todd's back going out, injections in various joints for both of us, and preparing for Christmas are behind us now, and the Christmas season is staring us in the face.  Where does the time go?  And how does a holiday that has been scheduled for the same date each and every year for centuries "sneak up on us?"  Those are million dollar questions that may never be answered.

After surviving my "great and terrible fall" on November 20, 2014, I thought it would be a good idea to join the health club at work.  Some of the gals I work with are members and go work out during their lunch break, so I could join them.  I had a little trouble with my knee swelling about a week after the great and terrible fall, though, which slowed me down a little and led to a visit to the orthopedist's office. There, 1/4 of a cup of fluid was drained off my knee, and a steroid was injected.  The details that followed are really boring and irrelevant, but suffice it to say there has since been a MRI, a lovely hinged knee brace that matches all my outfits (NOT), and physical therapy that began today.

When I joined the health club, I decided that a few sessions with a personal trainer would benefit me. I dodged his phone calls for a couple of weeks, partially because I knew it wouldn't do me any good to go with my bum knee...and partially out of sheer fear!  There are a couple of things this gal does not enjoy.  One is sweating. The other is pain.  On top of that, my extreme lack of athleticism is a tiny source of an often crippling lack of confidence.  But, by golly, I paid for those sessions, so I decided it was time to suck it up, buttercup! Finally, I answered his phone call.

I met with my trainer, Richard, for the first time last week.  Really nice young man who wasn't at all the intimidating drill sergeant I had imagined.  During the first session, I think he was just trying to figure out what he had to work with.  I'm sure I impressed him as I demonstrated my brute strength.  I was able to perform the three sets of ten in each of the upper body exercises he prescribed at a whopping 7 POUNDS!  Heck! I almost impressed myself!

Before the workout, he measured and weighed me, establishing a baseline.  As the scales stopped at 201 pounds, I gasped.  He attempted to comfort me, reminding me the number would change.  I said, "You don't understand.  On October 29, I weighed 231 pounds.  I've lost 30 pounds!"  It was so exciting!!!  In addition to the pounds lost, I lost an inch in my upper arm, 4 inches in my waist, and 5.5 inches in my hips!!!  Whoot! Whoot!

I had a more intense training session today.  My heart was pumping! I broke a sweat (and didn't die!) I could feel the burn...and LIKED it!  He had me slamming a medicine ball into the floor, swinging a giant rope, trying to walk with my feet in a giant rubber band, and doing some more upper body stuff, this time against my own body weight (slightly more than 7 pounds).  It was invigorating!!!  I can't wait to go back!  After we were done, it was time to weigh...

When I was recovering from the surgery, my first landmark mini goal was to be below 200 pounds before Christmas.  Knowing how my weight tends to fluctuate with water retention, etc., I truly never expected what I saw when the scale stopped calculating.  It read "199." 199 POUNDS!!! Not only did I achieve that landmark goal, I am now on the other side of 200 for the first time in FOREVER!!!  I keep pinching myself to see if this is all a dream, but THIS IS REAL LIFE!!!

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, our little family's traditional evening of celebrating together with a meal and the opening of gifts.  It is also a time to reflect on the blessings and trials of the past year and begin to look forward to the new year.  As you observe this holiday season, may your home overflow with joy.  May you have at least one good belly laugh.  May your heart be filled with gladness and thanksgiving as you realize the blessings you have received.  And most importantly, may you remember that precious, perfect baby King that was born in a lowly stable to save all mankind.  Merry Christmas and God Bless You!

No More Traipsing - Just Straight Up Trippin'!

Oh, how lovely it was - my time of traipsing through lush meadows!  I have moved on to the level of tripping over hard sidewalks.  Now, granted, God's favor still shines upon me!  I am still and always will be His precious daughter, Child of the King.  I am not, however, his most graceful child.  This is a fact I have never disputed, and have, in fact, embraced.

One of my coworkers had a wonderful idea this afternoon!  "Let's go for a walk outside," she said.  "I'm in," I replied, slipping on my sneakers I had stashed in my closet for just this moment. Another colleague of ours joined us, and off we went - to walk the "Hendrick Trail."  It was a lovely afternoon - sun shining, birds chirping, women chatting.  I even noticed that I wasn't as out of breath as usual and could carry on a conversation while we walked! Progress!

Now, it just so happened that I was wearing a maxi skirt (which looked smashing with my hot pink tennies).  About halfway around the trail, I took note of the thousands of freshly fallen acorns on the sidewalk, which reminded me of a hilarious time when I twisted my ankle on one of those pesky little rascals outside the mall, ripping Todd's belt loop as I fell (I had my finger looped in it while we walked), and did a complete 180 as I fell, only to land in a King Tut position on the ground.  Seriously - straight as a board, arms crossed across my chest in an "X."  It struck me as funny today because I was wearing that very same skirt on the day of the acorn attack.  I giggled as I told my friends about the incident, pointing out the skirt and telling them how notorious I am for falling.

We continued to walk until we rounded the third corner of the trail, and one of the girls had to step into a doctor's office to pick up a prescription.  She told the other two of us to go ahead, and she would meet up with us.  So, we continued to walk.  We made it about 15 feet before the earth rumbled, the sidewalk split, and I was thrown to my face!  Maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but I tripped over a raised piece of that sidewalk and down I went!  It was one of those really ugly falls, too!  The kind where there is no way you are gonna recover, you just have to try to minimize the damage.  I caught myself first with both palms, but then I did some weird version of that dance called "the worm," scrubbing the sidewalk with my left brow and left shoulder…and then it was finally over.

I'm sure it was a sight to behold!  My friend, Kara, told me it was like I was falling in slow motion.  I felt like it would never end!  I'm sure there was skirt flying everywhere, and I feel certain my butt showed at some point.  Thankfully, I was wearing thick tights.  After I finally collected myself, Kara began to help me to my feet, and this sweet little man hobbled from across the street at a doctor's office to try to help.  Miraculously, my glasses were fine, no clothing was torn, none of my jewelry was harmed, and I did not pee my pants!  (See! God's favor…)  I did, however, end up with a nice knot and little gash beside my left eyebrow, a bruised and swollen left shoulder, sore hands, swollen left knee, stiffness all over, and a slightly bruised ego.  My biggest fear was that something internally may have been damaged after my surgery, but I think I'm ok.  There is a reason my parents did not consider "Grace" as my middle name.  But thankfully, God is grace, and He extends it to me freely!

We all walked back to the hospital together, unanimously deciding that black skirt has to go!  We had a really good belly laugh over the incident, and the others were already devising safety plans for our next walk.  As my director and I were filling out the forms to report the accident, one of the questions on hers asked something like, "Has the employee received any training on how to perform this task safely?"  Obviously NOT!  Maybe I need to attend Walking 101.  Nah!  I'll just keep things interesting!

I'm still enjoying the lush meadows!  I'm just learning to watch where I'm traipsing!

TTFN!

Word of the day: Surgiversary (you're welcome!)

Tomorrow will mark my three-week surgiversary (anniversary of my surgery).  On Monday, November 12, I saw my surgeon for my post-op visit, and he was very encouraging!  I had lost 15.5 pounds in the 12 days since surgery, and everything is healing beautifully.  Another week has passed, and I have no idea how much more I have lost because I asked Todd to confiscate and hide my bathroom scales.  I was becoming a little obsessed.  I do, however, plan to weigh tomorrow.  I just don't want to be all about the numbers on the scale.  My dress slacks that were snug on me in mid-October are hanging all over me, making me look like I pooped my Depends!  HAHA!  For the record… I DO NOT wear Depends!  At least not yet!

Soft food has been introduced into my diet.  My chickens are laying eggs again, and thankfully their precious little treasures are one of the foods I have been craving.  Of course, since I can eat less than one egg at a meal, I'm not even making a dent in them!  It's interesting that the only things I have really craved are eggs, cheese, and most recently green beans.  My son, Eric, made a great point in saying that these cravings are my body telling me what macronutrients it needs.  He's so smart! Whatever you do, though, do not tell him I said that!  His head will get so big he won't be able to come through my door!

I did cheat a little tonight, I must confess.  I was told not to take a tub bath until 4 weeks postop, but I just HAD to take a bath tonight.  It is so hard to get a good shave on your legs in the shower, and nothing feels better at the end of the day than a long, hot, soaking bath!  I will return to the showers tomorrow for another week, though.  Rebellion over.

Things are getting a little easier, with the exception of getting enough protein in daily.  I thought adding food would make it easier, but it muddied the water a little.  When I was on liquids, my primary source of nourishment was the protein shakes.  Now that I can eat food, I get protein through it, but only in small portions.  We are taught not to drink immediately before, during, or for 30 minutes after a meal (which takes about 20 minutes to eat), and it takes me about 30-45 minutes to drink a protein shake.  PLUS, I still have to make sure to get my water in.  I'll just say, I don't think I've been 100% yet, but I'm working on it.

Progress is being made!  Things are moving forward!  Now I'm off to bed!
Blessings!

Traipsing Through Lush Meadows

This post is, quite frankly, exactly one week late.  When I began writing it a week ago, I developed a bad case of writer's block.  I wasn't crazy about the way the post started, couldn't find a way to salvage it, so I deleted it.  Every time I tried to revive it, I hit a brick wall.  I refuse to let this particular post remain silent, though, because it is one of praise, thanksgiving, and glory to God!

I've always thought of myself as an optimist, seeing the world through rose-colored glasses.  I'm the girl with the half-full glass, the one who tries to find the bright side of everything, and is sometimes fooled by people who don't live up to my Pollyanna opinion of them.  It seems that I can always give a person the benefit of the doubt…except when that person is me.

At the risk of sounding falsely humble or, God forbid, a self-pitying martyr, something many people do not know about me is that I do not often see myself in a positive light.  I am my own worst critic and often, enemy.  While I realize a negative self-image is unhealthy, I also recognize it as the enemy's greatest weapon against me.  If he can make me believe that I am worthless, I am of little or no use to the Kingdom of God, right? Right!

This brings me to the amazing way in which my Poppa God spoke to me last week.  He blessed me with the most amazing new job which I started in October, just a couple of weeks before my surgery.  My family, church family, and friends all prayed over this fervently for weeks, asking God to ONLY allow me to have it if it was completely within His will.  Just about the time I was ready to just give up because the answer was still not being revealed, I prayed a simple prayer in my car as I was ready to drive off from my shift on the hospice unit.  I held both hands out in front of me, cupped together like a child waiting to be given a gift by her daddy, and prayed, "I'm coming to You, Lord, with my hands open, palms up, waiting on the wonderful gifts You desire to give me." I cried.  I repeated the prayer. Over. And. Over.  Tears streaming down my face.  I wasn't begging.  I was just declaring to the Lord that I know He longs to bless His children, yet we are too often so busy trying to live life according to our own wills and under our own power that we miss the amazing blessings He had for us.

The very next day, after weeks of uncertainty, I received a phone call offering me the position for which I had earnestly and ceaselessly prayed.  Which brings us to the reason for this particular post.  I was sitting in my office (which feels just like home, btw), thinking about all the fabulous things that have happened in my life over the past couple of months; GREAT things!  Among the top ten are, of course, my surgery and my job as Nurse Recruitment and Retention Officer (sounds pretty darn official, huh?)  I am still in such awe over all this amazing stuff happening to ME!  This sort of thing just doesn't happen to someone like me!  That stinkin' thinkin' just crept back in. Did you see it?

I have a devotional on my phone that sends me a message each morning to remind me that it's time for my devotional.  It's a really great devo, and it even has the Scripture to go along with the readings.  Jesus really was showing off the next morning because my devotional answered to those negative thoughts of being undeserving in a very LOUD voice.  He told me through the beautiful writings of Jesus Calling by Sarah Young that I am living in a time of abundance.  The November 12 entry says I am "traipsing through lush meadows" after a season of trudging through difficult times.  Providing times of blessing for His children is God's delight!  It goes on to say that we often have feelings of false guilt because we don't believe we deserve such rich blessings. BINGO!  It is amazing how God speaks so clearly to us in times like this!  How could I think that the God who sacrificed His only Son to save a sinner like me would not delight in giving me gifts like a fantastic new position and a fresh start on my health?  Those gifts pale in comparison to that ultimate gift of salvation!

As I traipse through these lush meadows, I am learning to receive and enjoy the wonderful blessings God is pouring out on me.  I really don't deserve any of this, but I can tell you one thing - I'm certainly glad He doesn't give me what I do deserve.

Blessings!

Romans 8:32 "He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?"

John 3:16  "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Almost HuUuuuuUmP Day!

Day 10 postop…
WHAT!?!  I've almost made it over the hump!  My days of strictly drinking my meals are almost behind me!  I'm not gonna lie, though, I haven't even really cared.  There is always a rumbly in my tumbly (Pooh-ism), and I'm never sure if it's hunger, thirst, or just plain old gas.  I can tell, however, when it's time for a protein shake because I feel like a battery-operated toy running out of juice.  Of course, the hour it takes me to drink a protein drink is a little annoying, BUT I have been able to get almost all of my protein in over the past two days, plus all my recommended water and my vitamins and minerals!  Yay!!!  I'll take a victory, no matter the size!

It has been so inspirational to hear from some of you who read and appreciate my ramblings!  Just yesterday, a sweet friend stopped by my office and offered me such encouragement!  Her first words were, "You're already getting thinner!"  This journey, like so many of its kind, is so much nicer with friends to encourage and lift you up!  Thanks, Brianna Sam!  And then there was the phone call from our precious pastor's wife, and the daily words of encouragement from Todd and my kids, friends, and family…you just cannot put a value on having a great support system. I am blessed way beyond what I deserve in that area!

On a different note, we (being Todd, me, and our kiddos) all went to have our photos taken for our church directory.  It was pretty fun, and the guy did a great job.  He was very friendly, professional, and the photos were ok.  It's just so funny how portraiture has evolved so much over the past few decades.  There was a time when folks didn't feel they had a good family photo unless it had the name of a studio scrawled across the bottom right-hand corner.  You know, standard backdrops, unnatural poses, weird lighting.

When I first began taking photos for the public, my goal was to capture the actual personality of the subject.  Of course, it took me a bit to get away from the "studio" setting and out into the world around us, but those photos allow the subjects to truly relax and be more natural.  "Lifestyle photography" is the term used.  I haven't done this in such a long time because I felt I didn't have ample time for it, but I really had a knack for it, and I miss it.  I'm thinking I will ease back into it.  Maybe not so much commercially, but a dream of mine has always been to capture the inner beauty of people in my life.  I love natural lighting and heavily contrasted black and white photos.

Both of my kids have inherited their momma's love for the camera.  Eric loves to shoot outdoors shots in RAW, and his photos have a grunge, rugged feel.  Of course, he has the helicopter hog hunting business, Pork Choppers, and takes great shots for his clients as memorabilia.  Emily, like me, is more of a lifestyle photographer, capturing her subjects at special events such as weddings, births, etc.  Both of them are extremely talented, self-taught, and make their momma very proud.

Anyway, the name of my blog is "Missylaneous Me" for a reason.  I am very sporadic and have MANY interests!  I just felt I should write a little about that.  I am still relatively new to this blogging world, but plan to continuously tweak the blog to include tabs for my missylaneous interests.  Thanks for reading and giving me a place to share! Be prepared for my next post because Todd is going to drive a race car at Texas Motor Speedway tomorrow!  I'm sure there will be a LOT to write about!

Blessings!

Trial and Error

Day 7 postop…
It's so hard to believe that it's been a whole week since my surgery!  I enthusiastically returned to work today, and was very glad to be back.  I left the house feeling pretty darn good, and looking pretty good, too. LOL!  I made one major wardrobe mistake, though!  Those pants that I mentioned in my last post, Out With the New& In With the Old… Yup.  I wore 'em.  They felt okay until, oh, about 8:30…a.m. I finally had to close my office door and unbutton those suckers.  My tummy is still pretty tender as I mentioned, and that was way too much pressure on it!  So I tried it, saw the error, and will wait until this belly has healed a little more!

There have been three major challenges nutritionally with this new stomach of mine: getting 84 grams of protein per day, drinking 64 ounces of water daily, and taking approximately 16 vitamin and mineral supplements per day. PLUS, you cannot take your calcium within 2 hours of the multivitamin because of the iron in them.  It's a juggling act.  I was so excited this morning, though, because I had consumed 26 Gm of protein in my breakfast shake in the 50 minute commute to work.  I had packed a pre-made protein drink by Naked® that had 30 grams for lunch, believing I was actually going to get my protein in today.  Unfortunately, about halfway through it, I started feeling pretty yucky.  I slowed down thinking I was drinking it too fast, but didn't get any relief.  Then, a light bulb came on!  Even though that drink was all natural with no added sugar, it was FULL of fruit juices, which contain natural sugar, which is a No-No.  Oops!  Gotta learn to read those labels!

Anyway, as with anything new, my banana-shaped stomach will require some getting used to.  I know it will get easier as it heals, and as I relearn how to eat.  Each day gets better, though, and brings me one day closer to being allowed to eat soft foods.  I've been craving eggs and cheese, which is a good thing since my chickens are finally laying again!  I'd better hush.  My mouth is watering!

So, stretchy pants tomorrow and NO fruit juice!
Blessings!

Out With the New & In With the Old

Day 6 postop…
Day 5, yesterday, was an absolutely WONDERFUL day!  Each and every day, I feel better and better! I began my day with a cup of coffee and a tiny splash of my CoffeeMate peppermint mocha creamer.  It was a bit early for that, but I used such a small amount that I didn't think it could hurt…and it didn't seem to.  Oh, how my taste buds danced, though!  Emily and her dog, Lily, showed up around 8 a.m. to hang out with my pack (Ellie and Buck) and me.  We two humans ventured off to Walmart after lunch and picked up a few things we needed (and some we didn't).  It's okay to yawn here.  I just bored myself.  LOL!

Anyway!  The exciting part of my day, besides getting to hang out with one of my favorite people, was when Todd helped me out by bringing a storage tub into the house for me.  It was a tub I unofficially named my "Next Steps" tub.  A few weeks before time for my surgery, I went through my closet and dresser with a fine-tooth comb, getting rid of things I will never wear again, keeping things I could wear at the time, and carefully selecting things that didn't fit, but would soon after surgery.  I was afraid that resurrecting the "Next Steps" tub might be a little premature, but was pleasantly surprised to find that there were several pieces that made their way to hangers in my closet.

Now, granted, some of the pants will have to wait till the swelling and tenderness in my belly dissipate a little more, but I got those suckers on AND they weren't skin tight!  My wardrobe increased significantly in one afternoon…for FREE!  This is great news because I had refused to buy more than a few key pieces when I was preparing to move into my new office position.  There are only so many ways you can mix things up, though, before it looks like you are wearing the same outfit for days! Some of those new clothes will have to be worn pretty quickly, though, because they will be too big in no time.  I can add a little flavor to my workweek now by bringing in these "old" clothes!

I feel I should pause here to give you a baseline. On my initial consultation with Dr. Stowers at My Bariatric Solutions, my official start-up weight was 231.2 pounds, and I wore size 18-20 pants, 2X tops, and was spilling out of a 40DD bra.  During the three months between that visit and my actual surgery, my weight fluctuated, dropping down to as low as 226 at one point and jumping to 241 for a short time (after a binge).  I honestly had times where I felt I might explode.

Yesterday, my weight was 219.2!  On Sunday, I put on a pair of black pants while getting ready for church, thinking they were my trusty 18's, only to find out they were the 16's that I had not been able to wear.  It is insane!  The best part is I can breathe so much easier with some of that belly fat gone. It's getting a little easier to cross my legs, too!

There is another tub still out in the storage building; one whose contents I have not seen in about 2 years, and some pieces that have not been worn in over a decade.  Dragging that tub into the house will require a celebration of ginormous proportions!  Maybe even a ticker tape parade!  Inside that tub are clothes that I have held onto for many years.  Some of them may be out of style, but many of them are timeless.  Such as the black velvet dress with lace cap sleeves that I wore as a bridesmaid at my niece's wedding.  That tub holds treasures that will make this girl's heart BEAM!  It will be a while before I crack open its lid, but the journey toward it is gonna be AWESOME!

So…one day at a time, one protein drink at a time, I will walk this journey.

Bless the Lord!

Day 4 postop…
Today was the first day I've fixed my hair and put on makeup since Tuesday.  It felt so good!  It took me longer than usual to dry and style my hair.  It's hard to imagine how little strength and stamina one has after going without any sustenance for several days.  But I got it done!  I started on my clear protein drinks, which aren't horrible, but I can only drink small sips at a time or I get nauseated.  Actually, it feels more like a spasm more than nausea.  So…it takes a LONG time to drink a 10 oz drink.  This is totally new for me because I love to drink!  I'm not confessing to alcoholism, but rather stating that I constantly have some hot or cold liquid to drink.  I usually get my money's worth from the outrageous cost of a glass of tea in a restaurant.  They might as well just give me that pitcher of unsweet tea with a straw and some lemon slices and call it good!  A minor adjustment, but my body keeps me in check.

Such a wonderful time of worship at Bethel Assembly of Anson today!  Our awesome worship team led us into the presence of the Lord beautifully as always.  I was moved to tears during "10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord)" because of the overwhelming realization that God has blessed me with such an awesome gift!  I will be healthy!  I will be fit!  I will feel good and feel good about me!  I'm already feeling much better about me.  I mentioned in a previous post that I did this, not because I don't love myself, but because I do!  I want to live to enjoy playing with my grandkids (who are still just a glimmer in their daddies' eyes).  I want to grow old with my sweet man and be that cute old couple walking arm in arm.  And in everything I do, I want to glorify God!  I can serve Him so much better when I am healthy!  Guess we just had a little church in here!

This is an exciting week because I will return to work on Tuesday for a morning seminar and then be back full-time on Wednesday.  PLUS I get to move back to full liquids on Wednesday, which means I can have my creamer in my coffee again!!!  Celebrate good times! Come on!  Nothing makes me smile like my peppermint mocha creamer in my cup o joe!  It's the little things.  Tis the season to be thankful, right?

TTFN!  Blessings y'all!

Let'r Rip, Tater Chip!

Day 3 postop…
We made the trip from Decatur to home on Thursday, just 24 hours after my surgery.  The night in the hospital was probably exhausting for Todd, since every time I awoke, I wanted to walk.  The goal was to move the gas out of my largely inflated abdomen.  Of course, the ways that gas moves out of the abdomen are less than ladylike…you burp or you fart.  Pardon my vulgarity, but I'm just calling it like it is.  So…I walked every chance I got. And when I was finally able to expel some of that gas, there was a huge celebration!  Any nurse will tell you that celebrations are in order for passing gas and pooping.  On more than one occasion, I have declared to my patients who have accomplished these goals, "Let'r rip, tater chip!"  That always seems to lighten the mood and lessen the embarrassment because, let's face it, tooting, burping, and pooping are taboo outside the hospital walls.   Sorry for that, but Hey!  It's real life!

Anyway, WOW!  That went south, huh?  My surgery went just as expected, and I was back in my room before noon where Todd and Emily were waiting for me.  Emily was thoughtful enough to record some of the wisdom I shared under the influence of anesthesia and my Demerol PCA.  Apparently, as I entered the room, I asked the nurses, "Did they tell you I wanted to keep my excised stomach?"  WHAT?!?  Evidently no one else got the message because I left the hospital without that piece of anatomy.  Other Missy-isms include: announcing "I brought Q-tips," stating that "I started to ask if it was a boy or a girl," and telling my family "You might have to remind me to breathe."  Evidently, I kept my family entertained.

Life after surgery has proven to have its own set of challenges.  I am NOT hungry, yet I know I have to constantly keep something in me.  I am supposed to squeeze 64 oz of water per day into this tiny, swollen pouch of mine that was once a stomach.  The tricky part is finding something that doesn't trigger nausea.  I have discovered that orange and lime sugar-free popsicles are tolerable, as well as raspberry lemonade and lemon-lime G2 Gatorade. As I write this blog post, I am sipping spring water from a champagne flute.  Fancy!  So far, nothing chicken flavored is appealing.  Tomorrow or Monday, I will try my clear protein drinks to see if there is anything palatable.  I have several to choose from, so hopefully, I will find some that I love.

Walking is GOOD, and I really enjoy it.  The cool, autumn weather makes it even more enjoyable.  In fact, I think it's time to get up and go for a little walk.  It's time to let'r rip, tater chip!

This Just Got REAL!

I had myself the best little nap EVER this morning!  Emily dropped me off at Wise Regional Health System for my EGD (scope down my esophagus) at 6:30 a.m. sharp.  I sent her to the Golden Arches to get herself some breakfast.  No sense in both of us starving.  I sat down at a window to be checked in for my procedure, and was slapped in the face by the overwhelming smell of peanut butter as the considerate lady slid her window open to greet me.  REALLY?!?  I haven't had anything solid in a week, and you wanna sit there and eat peanut butter in front of me?  Anyway…as I was telling her my name and birthdate, I heard someone say, "Is that Missy Lewis?"  I turned to see the familiar face of a sweet nurse/friend with whom I used to work.  Such a small world!  She was having her actual procedure done today.  

Being a patient can be difficult when you are a nurse, but I think I did a great job.  I let that nice pre-op nurse start my IV without offering any suggestions on which vein she should use.  I allowed her to tell me what to expect in layman's terms without trying to impress her with my own knowledge.  I even asked for help walking to the bathroom so the hospital could keep its incidents of falls at a minimum.  When the CRNA came in to introduce himself, I caught Emily checking out his left ring finger, only to find a silver band there.  AND she happened to snap a photo.  That helped her feel better about having to get up so early. Never a dull moment!

Back to the nap, though.  So, the nurse wheeled me into the procedure room for my EGD (which was an interesting vantage point, I might add; being on the gurney instead of pushing it.  I saw Dr. Stowers standing there in his superhero cape, talking to another guy.  Wait!  Maybe the superhero cape is imaginary, but after tomorrow, I'm afraid he will have attained superhero status in my book!  Anyway, the nurses began putting oxygen on me and explaining the bite block, etc.  One nurse said, "I'm going to give you some medicine, and it might be a little warm in your IV, but it won't last long."  I was like, "OK" (or something like that around the bite block).  I remember thinking, "I'm pretty slee…" That was IT!  I was OUT!!!  That was the easiest and BEST sleep I've ever had!  I know now why Michael Jackson liked that propofol!  JK!  JK!!!

After my short recovery period, Em and I came back to the hotel and crawled into our respective beds.  We both felt it might be hard to go back to sleep, so Em played some white noise, a thunderstorm, on her phone.  That second nap was almost as good as the first!  

Now, as I write this post, I am alone in the hotel, having sent Todd and Emily to get a bite to eat.  I just couldn't bear sitting in another restaurant eating the broth off one of the soups on the menu while, all around me, others are eating delicious solid food.  I am drinking a fuzzy navel (protein drink, not OJ and vodka) and contemplating how my life is about to never be the same.  For a while, it won't matter to me that I can't eat food, but slowly, I will transition back to real food.  The cool thing is that my new "pouch" (what they call the remainder of my stomach) will only allow me to eat small amounts of food.  And if I disregard its cues that I am full, it will turn on me, tossing that food back out.  Gross, I know, and that is one of my least favorite things to do, so I will listen.  I will obey.  

So, this just got REAL!  Tomorrow is the beginning of a brand-new way of life for me!  I cannot thank God enough for this tool to help me be healthy and fit!  I will honor Him with my body and treat it as the temple He created it to be.  Let's do this thing!

Soap Box

Day 3 of Pre-op Diet...
Yes, I know! This should actually be day 7 according to my last post, but I decided not to be such an overachiever.  Technically, it was not mandatory for me to start until Wednesday, but I was excited and thought it would be a good idea to get a jumpstart.  Apparently, my stomach thought that was the dumbest idea it had ever heard, because it began its most valiant efforts to destroy me from the inside out!  Long story short, I decided that seven days of liquids were quite enough, so I had me some chick-fil-a on Monday and started Wednesday.

This final countdown to the big day is both exciting and a little terrifying.  This evening, as I tidied up my office and locked the door behind me, I was overcome with the realization that when I return to work on November 5, I will be...different.  Hunger will feel different.  "Full" will feel different.  My clothes and my skin will begin to fit me differently.  There will be less and less of me...the physical me, that is.  And as that part of me begins to disappear, the inner me will become more and more free.

Stay with me here.  I know some may be saying, "You should love yourself just as you are," or "Beauty is only skin deep."  Well, I say "YES!" to both statements.  I do love myself.  I just don't love what I have done to myself.  All those years of eating my feelings and overindulging have piled up on me and hidden me, the REAL me, from sight.  And as for beauty only being skin deep, (My grandma always said, "Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone." Haha!  Oh, He! I miss that lady!)... Sorry!  Bunny trail.  Now, where was I?  Oh, yes!  Beauty is only skin deep, but if that skin has layers of adipose tissue (aka "fat") underneath it that are weighing you down and causing you physical pain in simple daily activities such as walking, it is difficult to inhabit your inner beauty.

I must enter a disclaimer statement here.  This is NOT for everyone!  My decision to have this surgery is exactly that... MY decision.  I am choosing this because I feel it is the best option for ME.  I have chosen this, not because I don't love myself, but because I DO, and I want to live my life free of diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, high cholesterol, and all the other potential killers caused by obesity.

I know there are many women (practically all of us) whose struggles are much like my own, and my hope is that NOT ONE OF YOU will interpret my writings as bashing those of us with weight issues or food addictions.  Furthermore, there are so many vehicles out there for healthy weight loss that are not as drastic as the one I have chosen to take.  My desire is that sharing my struggles and this journey will be an inspiration to anyone who deals with these issues to rise above them. And when you fall, RISE AGAIN!

Do I think this will be easy?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  I know better.  I have walked this road with my daughter, and it was anything BUT easy.  I do, however, think this will be a tool that I can use to help me be healthier, live longer, and feel better about myself, and I plan to use it to its fullest extent.

Now, as I step down off my soap box, it's time for a delicious protein shake.  I think I'll put some ice in it so I have something to chew on.
Blessings!

All Good Things Must End…To Allow Great Things to Begin!

October is my very favorite month of the entire year!  I wish every month could be October!  In West Texas, October is when autumn, my favorite season, really begins to reveal itself.  Halloween is in October. (I LOVE Halloween!) Pumpkins are everywhere in October. (I LOVE pumpkins!) Browns, reds, yellows, and oranges are the primary colors of October. (You guessed it, I LOVE those colors!)  AND my birthday is in October!  The 27th to be exact!  Who doesn't love their birthday?

October 2014 will be an especially memorable one to me, as it is FULL of change!  Thursday, October 16, 2014 was my last day as a hospice nurse.  Though I have worked in hospice less than a year, I have had a heart for end-of-life care the majority of my nursing career. There is something unexplainably beautiful and fulfilling about helping a dying person make that journey into eternity.  Hospice is not just about death and dying; it is about life and living it fully to the very end.  It is about providing comfort and dignity to the one leaving this earth and peace and reassurance to those being left behind.  I will forever treasure the friendships and deep bonds made during my short time as a hospice nurse, as well as my long time as an oncology nurse; and I look forward to meeting the beautiful souls of those whose journey ended under my care when my time on earth is over.  This good thing, being a hospice nurse, is now a precious part of my past.

As a good thing ended, a great thing has begun!  I am now fully stepping into my new role as Nurse Recruitment and Retention Officer at Hendrick Medical Center!  I am still pinching myself because this great thing does not seem real!  This new position takes me away from the bedside, caring for patients, and puts me on the front lines of caring for the caregivers.  My responsibilities include recruiting new and experienced nurses to our amazing organization and developing ways to retain them.  I am ecstatic about this great new thing because it is right up my alley!  

I love new nurses! I love their enthusiasm, their passion, their fresh knowledge!  I love how they bring new ideas into our workplace.  I love how they are still in love with nursing.  

I love seasoned nurses, as well.  Their expertise, life experiences, and deep-rooted passion for one of the toughest professions on earth are the qualities that make them heroes, placing patient care ahead of their own needs.  (Just ask any nurse - sometimes we only pee once in a shift.  Of course, that's usually because we never had time to eat or drink anything.)  These folks are the ones who work in the trenches, and it is not always pretty.  To be the face of these heroes of healthcare at Hendrick Medical Center is one of the greatest honors I have ever received!

Last night, my family and I celebrated these endings and beginnings.  We also celebrated my birthday…10 days early.  I requested this early celebration because last night was also the end of a lifetime of weight struggles and the beginning of a new way of life.  I have written about my battle with my weight many times, but this time is different.  This morning, I began a 10-day liquid diet to prepare me for another great new thing…vertical sleeve gastrectomy.  On October 29, 2014, two days after my actual 48th birthday, I will have 80% of my stomach removed.  This weight-loss surgery will be a tool that will help me achieve my goals of being fit and healthy FOREVER!  There will be more about this, probably so much more that my three followers will unfollow me. :)  I will blog about it, though, for myself and for anyone else whose life might be touched or changed.

For now, though, I am embracing my new role, adapting to a Monday-Friday, 8-5 work week, learning about spreadsheets and powerpoint presentations, establishing contact lists, and trying to put together outfits daily from my scarce wardrobe. (I'm not buying anything because I'm about to become the incredible shrinking woman!)  

Thank You, Jesus, for the memories of good things past and the promise of great things to come!

Blessings!

Empty Nest…Again

September 29.  Today marks the beginning of a series of major life changes scheduled to take place in my otherwise ordinary life.  I will just begin with what is actually happening today.  Emily, my youngest, is leaving the nest…again.  This beautiful, free-spirited child of mine could not wait to fly out and begin her own journey when she graduated high school!  Independence and Adventurer are her unofficial middle names. (D'Shea is her official middle name, about which she has never been completely happy. But that's a whole blog entry of it own.)  She flew through many adventures, landing back in the nest a couple of times to regroup.  The details of that journey are hers to share, but my role in that journey is that of the mother whose nest has been emptied more times than should legally be allowed.

"Empty Nest" syndrome is very real.  We bring these little angels into our lives who are fully dependent upon us, only to have them morph into younger versions of ourselves (with attitude and confidence on steroids).  Those mini-me's begin tugging against the reins of our influence at the exact same time their bodies and minds are developing at awkwardly warped speed.  Before we can adapt to these mirror images of us we are loading their belongings into the back of a pick-up and waving good-bye as they drive off into the sunset.  That leaves us, the parents, the nurturers, picking up the pieces of our hearts off the ground and trying to help each other piece them back together into something new that isn't wrapped around that human being who has been the center of our universe for the past 17-18 years.  The first time this happened, when our eldest, Eric, moved away to college, I probably would have moved in with him if I could have.  Of course, that would have been weird, but HEY! Desperate times call for desperate measures!

OK.  I know I tend to have a flare for the dramatic, but isn't this essentially what takes place?  At the end of this day, Todd and I will have experienced this phenomenon a total of 5 times…with 2 children! And though the first two times were the hardest, each time requires a period of adjustment…and a period of recovery after moving furniture!  We aren't getting any younger after all!  We are, however, very proud of both of our kiddos!  Both are business owners, responsible, and terrific human beings!  We are enjoying watching them "become".

More change is coming, too!  I start a new, exciting job one week from today!  And ONE MONTH FROM TODAY, I am going to do something that will forever change my life!  Don't let the suspense kill ya!  Stay tuned!

Now I must put on my tennies and get ready for some seriously hard work!  It's moving time!

Step 1

Vulnerable. Complex. A little (or a LOTtle) Wacky. If I were asked to describe myself in three words, those MIGHT be my choices. Many of you journeyed with me last fall as I ditched sugar in my 21 day sugar detox. What you didn't see was how I plummeted back into my pit of bondage during my Dad's illness and subsequent death. It's the typical story...one enchilada plate at Abuelo's leads to a cheeseburger and fries, which lead to a downward spiral back into the abyss from which I had been rescued. Before you know it, eating healthy, wholesome foods doesn't seem enticing because you are so numbed by sugar and toxins in the man-made foods that you can't even feel the agony in your own body. It's crying out to you; begging you to stop! Silently shouting, "ENOUGH!"

I can no longer ignore those cries. This aching, exhausted, dying body of mine can take no more. Food has been my god for too long. I have made a conscious and deliberate decision to change my lifestyle...for good. This transparency takes more guts than one can ever imagine, because I have tried and failed so many times. To do this publicly, yet again, is a little terrifying, to say the very least.

This time is different. This time, I understand that I cannot do this in my own strength. I am getting to the deep roots of my addiction to food, my self-loathing, my feelings of inadequacy. This time, it's not so much about losing weight (although I would be lying if I said that wasn't one of the main benefits I'm hoping for). This time, I want to GAIN! I want to GAIN a closer, completely dependent relationship with God. I want to GAIN strength: physical, spiritual, emotional. I want to GAIN confidence in knowing that I AM good enough, and that I don't have to be perfect because I am made perfect through Christ Jesus! I want to GAIN time - time on this earth in a healthy body to enjoy the multitude of blessings God has given me. I want to GAIN, yet lose myself in Him!

Because of my apologetic nature, I am tempted to apologize for the length or content of this post, but I offer no apologies. I KNOW there are others out there who struggle with similar issues to mine, and if just one person is touched, and a life can be changed through the sharing of my journey, HALLELUJAH!!! This battle I wage is not against flesh and blood, but against powers and principalities of darkness. This battle belongs to the LORD! He goes before me and guards behind me. His desire is for me to be healthy and strong. I declare that for myself and for anyone who is reading this and needs to hear it.

So, for anyone who wants to join me in this journey, COME ON! If posts like mine drive you crazy, don't read them. I won't bore you with what I ate for lunch or what workout I just did. I simply desire to share my heart, encourage those of you who need it, and receive any encouragement you feel led to give. Every journey begins with a single step (can't remember who said that). This is step 1.