Soap Box

Day 3 of Pre-op Diet...
Yes, I know! This should actually be day 7 according to my last post, but I decided not to be such an overachiever.  Technically, it was not mandatory for me to start until Wednesday, but I was excited and thought it would be a good idea to get a jumpstart.  Apparently, my stomach thought that was the dumbest idea it had ever heard, because it began its most valiant efforts to destroy me from the inside out!  Long story short, I decided that seven days of liquids were quite enough, so I had me some chick-fil-a on Monday and started Wednesday.

This final countdown to the big day is both exciting and a little terrifying.  This evening, as I tidied up my office and locked the door behind me, I was overcome with the realization that when I return to work on November 5, I will be...different.  Hunger will feel different.  "Full" will feel different.  My clothes and my skin will begin to fit me differently.  There will be less and less of me...the physical me, that is.  And as that part of me begins to disappear, the inner me will become more and more free.

Stay with me here.  I know some may be saying, "You should love yourself just as you are," or "Beauty is only skin deep."  Well, I say "YES!" to both statements.  I do love myself.  I just don't love what I have done to myself.  All those years of eating my feelings and overindulging have piled up on me and hidden me, the REAL me, from sight.  And as for beauty only being skin deep, (My grandma always said, "Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone." Haha!  Oh, He! I miss that lady!)... Sorry!  Bunny trail.  Now, where was I?  Oh, yes!  Beauty is only skin deep, but if that skin has layers of adipose tissue (aka "fat") underneath it that are weighing you down and causing you physical pain in simple daily activities such as walking, it is difficult to inhabit your inner beauty.

I must enter a disclaimer statement here.  This is NOT for everyone!  My decision to have this surgery is exactly that... MY decision.  I am choosing this because I feel it is the best option for ME.  I have chosen this, not because I don't love myself, but because I DO, and I want to live my life free of diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, high cholesterol, and all the other potential killers caused by obesity.

I know there are many women (practically all of us) whose struggles are much like my own, and my hope is that NOT ONE OF YOU will interpret my writings as bashing those of us with weight issues or food addictions.  Furthermore, there are so many vehicles out there for healthy weight loss that are not as drastic as the one I have chosen to take.  My desire is that sharing my struggles and this journey will be an inspiration to anyone who deals with these issues to rise above them. And when you fall, RISE AGAIN!

Do I think this will be easy?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  I know better.  I have walked this road with my daughter, and it was anything BUT easy.  I do, however, think this will be a tool that I can use to help me be healthier, live longer, and feel better about myself, and I plan to use it to its fullest extent.

Now, as I step down off my soap box, it's time for a delicious protein shake.  I think I'll put some ice in it so I have something to chew on.
Blessings!