Traipsing Through Lush Meadows

This post is, quite frankly, exactly one week late.  When I began writing it a week ago, I developed a bad case of writer's block.  I wasn't crazy about the way the post started, couldn't find a way to salvage it, so I deleted it.  Every time I tried to revive it, I hit a brick wall.  I refuse to let this particular post remain silent, though, because it is one of praise, thanksgiving, and glory to God!

I've always thought of myself as an optimist, seeing the world through rose-colored glasses.  I'm the girl with the half-full glass, the one who tries to find the bright side of everything, and is sometimes fooled by people who don't live up to my Pollyanna opinion of them.  It seems that I can always give a person the benefit of the doubt…except when that person is me.

At the risk of sounding falsely humble or, God forbid, a self-pitying martyr, something many people do not know about me is that I do not often see myself in a positive light.  I am my own worst critic and often, enemy.  While I realize a negative self-image is unhealthy, I also recognize it as the enemy's greatest weapon against me.  If he can make me believe that I am worthless, I am of little or no use to the Kingdom of God, right? Right!

This brings me to the amazing way in which my Poppa God spoke to me last week.  He blessed me with the most amazing new job which I started in October, just a couple of weeks before my surgery.  My family, church family, and friends all prayed over this fervently for weeks, asking God to ONLY allow me to have it if it was completely within His will.  Just about the time I was ready to just give up because the answer was still not being revealed, I prayed a simple prayer in my car as I was ready to drive off from my shift on the hospice unit.  I held both hands out in front of me, cupped together like a child waiting to be given a gift by her daddy, and prayed, "I'm coming to You, Lord, with my hands open, palms up, waiting on the wonderful gifts You desire to give me." I cried.  I repeated the prayer. Over. And. Over.  Tears streaming down my face.  I wasn't begging.  I was just declaring to the Lord that I know He longs to bless His children, yet we are too often so busy trying to live life according to our own wills and under our own power that we miss the amazing blessings He had for us.

The very next day, after weeks of uncertainty, I received a phone call offering me the position for which I had earnestly and ceaselessly prayed.  Which brings us to the reason for this particular post.  I was sitting in my office (which feels just like home, btw), thinking about all the fabulous things that have happened in my life over the past couple of months; GREAT things!  Among the top ten are, of course, my surgery and my job as Nurse Recruitment and Retention Officer (sounds pretty darn official, huh?)  I am still in such awe over all this amazing stuff happening to ME!  This sort of thing just doesn't happen to someone like me!  That stinkin' thinkin' just crept back in. Did you see it?

I have a devotional on my phone that sends me a message each morning to remind me that it's time for my devotional.  It's a really great devo, and it even has the Scripture to go along with the readings.  Jesus really was showing off the next morning because my devotional answered to those negative thoughts of being undeserving in a very LOUD voice.  He told me through the beautiful writings of Jesus Calling by Sarah Young that I am living in a time of abundance.  The November 12 entry says I am "traipsing through lush meadows" after a season of trudging through difficult times.  Providing times of blessing for His children is God's delight!  It goes on to say that we often have feelings of false guilt because we don't believe we deserve such rich blessings. BINGO!  It is amazing how God speaks so clearly to us in times like this!  How could I think that the God who sacrificed His only Son to save a sinner like me would not delight in giving me gifts like a fantastic new position and a fresh start on my health?  Those gifts pale in comparison to that ultimate gift of salvation!

As I traipse through these lush meadows, I am learning to receive and enjoy the wonderful blessings God is pouring out on me.  I really don't deserve any of this, but I can tell you one thing - I'm certainly glad He doesn't give me what I do deserve.

Blessings!

Romans 8:32 "He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?"

John 3:16  "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."